Saturday, November 16, 2013

Cause I'm an independent woman

... that freaks out and calls her husband at the first sight of a clogged toilet !

Bahahahaha! So tonight I told husband to go and have fun with his friends to celebrate his big 30th birthday. We went out to eat, he drove me home so that I could sleep and now he's out frolicking with his buddies- something that he very much deserves as he's been stressing about being a dad soon. In 3 weeks if the doctors deductions are correct ! So I'm home and I have the biggest and most satisfying dump of the year and as I flush the toilet and get up to do my thang like wash my hands, etc., I notice the water not swooshing down the drain like it's suppose to. Instead. It's rising. I panic and I grab a tofu bin cause you know, I have those handy everywhere and scoop out some nasty ass water and dump it in the sink because my coworker had a clogged toilet that spilled and totally soaked through his tiles and through his basement ceiling and had a horrifical time getting that sh*t repaired. Pun intended. So what does a smart, independent, modern day woman do at this point? Instead of, I don't know, looking up what the f*ck to do when you have a clogged toilet with our bazillion gizmos at home that are connected to the world wide web with it's infinite repository of FAQs on these situations, I go and try to flush again. Dumb. At this point, I'm scooping again...... ew and decide, ok, I have to call husband.

I call husband and almost beg him to come home until I realize, he really doesn't want to, not for a clogged toilet and he's quite prepared to instruct me on the logical next steps that I in fact.... KNOW! SO, by this point, I realize what a loser and selfish human being I'm being and put him on speaker as I go get the plunger and start plunging.

Yay, after a few plunges, the water starts draining and before I know it, I'm just left with gunk at the bottom so I give the toilet another flush and woop dee doo, success ! I thank husband who I'm sure is thinking, what an idiot but is superbly relieved that he doesn't have to trek it home after a pathetic 30 minutes of freedom :) And then I set about Cloroxing my bathroom sink and dumping that tofu bin- a very yucky task that I totally deserved for not keeping my head on straight and panicking like a dumb damsel in distress in an old Disney cartoon.

I'm going to go ahead and pin this on pregnancy brain cause you know, I'm sure I would've acted much more sensibly were I not in a pregnant state. Right.

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